i met with wei huang, ye xiang, peng fei aka pei fen and jun ren yesterday! it was really nice to meet up with them since the camp. (x

jerica and i met up early in the morning at 715am to support the guys at the SAF biathlon at east coast. seems kinda weird to go all the way to support them since we are not even their girlfriends. haha. but anyway, it was really really nice to see all of them again. i duno why but feel some kind of bond between them. i think cuz we can click very well. so proud of them for completing the biathlon. anyway heard that someone died during the race. feel really sad for him.

happy 21st birthday to jun ren! hope his long distance relationship will last as long as it takes. really admire him for patience and determination! (:


love is indeed hard to fathom. it will befall on you when you least expected it. *jus crapping.

im really in a dilemna for this weekend. duno if i shld go for kbox with the guys in celebration of ye xiang's bday on sunday. or go for the free ICE AGE 2 movie on sat evening. BUT i got chalet during the whole weekend! HAIX...


friendship is the bridge between lonely and loved,
between a glance and a gaze.
it stretches from the fog into sunshine,
hopelessness into faith,
between despair and joy.
it crosses the chasm from hell to heaven,
from God to man
and from you to me. (:

posted by pam @ 9:20 PM 0 comments

to fall in love is always easy...
to start a relationship is always simple...
to build it, is always tough...
to maintain it, is 'better said than done'...
to break off, is 'easier said than done'...
to remain friends after u broke off, is never possible...
to forget the memories is 'always doing but never succeeding'...
to heal the pain within is hard and tough and never near simple...

but one has to try to heal your own heart
but the heart belongs to u..
if u don't heal it and have a space for someone to walk in,
the heart will always be sealed,
memories will never be forgotten,
the pain will never go,
and u will never move on from where u started.

people take wrong directions all the time.
if not, how do we ever realise our mistakes
and make better choices..
late it might be for your life so far,
but it is never too late for your life ahead..

maybe through wrong directions,
you made the wrong choices.
but does it mean that through the right directions,
you would always make the right choices?
if everything seems like a big trial.
hold on to your faith.
for at least, you had a chance to live a choice.


now, i finally understood what this poem means.
((:

posted by pam @ 7:21 PM 0 comments

im SUPER hungry now! didnt eat much in school and im starving now! =( im now eating all the junk food i can find in the house. hahah. my cough hasnt recovered and im munching on the cookies again. xP


stress is building up. got a lot of things going on now. common tests for physics, chem and maths in few weeks' time. i've been really worn out. just trying my best to keep things going. i guess i just draw strength from the friends around me and my dreams.

sometimes i wish i have someone to literally lean on. when im feeling so so tired, i often wish someone would be there to lend me his shoulder; someone for me to pour out my woes. more often than not, i tell ppl being single is the best cuz you won't be tied down by all the commitments and have the freedom to do what you want. but recently, im dreaming how nice if i have someone always beside me, supporting me all the way; someone to dote me, love me; someone for me to care abt; someone for me to cuddle in his arms. of course, it's only a fleeting dream. hahah.

im quite determined to live my life alone, maybe just for now. i cant bring myself to wholeheartedly trust someone anymore or maybe im just afraid to suffer anymore heartaches and tears.

although there are times i really dream and yearn someone who will be with me always, im really satisfied about my life now. i have great friends around me and a loving family to count on. hopefully, this lonely feeling will pass soon.



im going to study real hard this weekend cuz next weekend i will be at a SAFRA club at changi. having a chalet for my cousin's 21st bday. really looking forward to it! ((:

posted by pam @ 6:12 PM 0 comments

last night i spent nearly 3 hours on the bed... COUGHING!!!

can u imagine?? time wasted just like that. i cld have studied for all my tests and done all my tutorials lar. so frustrated with myself! but glad someone else was still awake. hahah. thanks my friend. bon voyage! (:



PAM! focus on your studies!!! dun divert your attention on other non impt stuffs! xP

posted by pam @ 6:06 PM 0 comments

happy happy ME is back to blog abt the happy happy DAYS!


let me see. must start off by thanking all those who sms me. so sorry didnt reply to all of u guys. thanks to kry. yong han. serkun. weiliang. weikang. weilin. wenhao. yilin. lily. laykoon. warren. shuying. anita. shimin. junfeng. shuwen. charles. kitson. ada. joshua. kelvin. zeqi.

thanks to the muskies for meeting up! love u guys a lot. sorry for leaving so abruptly. actually i was really disappointed and sad but no choice gotta leave or else i think my cough will become worse. but still, thanks for all the gifts. love the wallet; the ear rings; the candies.

thanks to reachoutforthestars for counting down to my bday on msn. really shocked lehs! hahah. it was a pleasant surprise! (:

thanks to my DAD for the sincerity to shop for our gifts; to our MA n KOR for their hong baos.

thanks to my JIE for treating me to my fav JAP food last week and tat lovely hp chain.

thanks to yong han for accompanying me all the way to ps. really nice of u! life is indeed a maze and friends play an impt role in guiding you out of there. u are one of them. and i mean it. (:

thanks to valerie for accompanying me on my bday. sorry for my 'husky' voice. it must been hard to listen to me. hahah. :D the plastic safety pins ear rings are great!

thanks to weiliang and weikang for the doggie. they are in my pa's car now! hahah. nice to know u still rmb us! (:

thanks to my mei for the BAG! i really LOVE it! (: hope u like mine okay. i spend duno how many hours choosing it lehs. xP

thanks to kelvin for making my bday end with a happier note. (: it has been GREAT knowing you! really nice of u to say my husky voice cute yea. hahah. xP

thanks to my aunty for treating us lunch and the shopping spree plus hong bao. wow! really feng fu. hahah.

hope i didnt miss anybody out. i really had fun during this march hols. i must say it's the BEST one in my life! (:



i was indeed shocked to receive his sms. all along i thought we are no longer friends. ever since then, i've trying to convince myself to move on and not live in the past [like how i did for 10 mths] foolish was the word. goodness knows why i threw tat photo away anyway. seems rather cruel of me. *shrugs. but anyway, im still glad he did rmb my bday! (:





HAPPY HAPPY eighteen ME! ((:

posted by pam @ 1:10 AM 0 comments

happy birthday to PAM!


happy happy me! (:

got lots to talk abt but will put all tat on hold.





hopefully the new-found friendships will continue on strong! (:

posted by pam @ 1:57 AM 0 comments

the last 3 days have been one of my most memorable days of my life. it's really enriching, fun yet tiring. i cant describe the feeling im experiencing now; maybe it's a feeling of maturity...

i was so afraid i cldn't live up to the organisers' expectations cuz i actually fell sick on sunday night. we went for a briefing at pasir ris park in the afternoon and i think i got exposed too much to the sea breeze. as a result, i ended up with a really bad sore throat and fever. but i still went ahead to the camp. hahah.

luckily, i didnt choose not to go cuz i wld have lose out on such a golden opportunity to know such wonderful ppl. there were only 3 girls - koon, jeri n me and the rest were guys. the guys i befriended are really different and special to me cuz their character are very constrasting to those i know of my age. despite being only 21 years old, these ppl have a high level of maturity and leadership skills which make me respect and admire them. i believe army life make them so. haha. oya. they are very intelligent too. all frm HCJC and most got overseas scholarships. *so envious.

i really have to thank jerica and koon for helping and comforting me when i felt so so exasperated with my group. i feel so much closer to u girls now and i honestly believe our friendship has acquire a higher level since this leadership camp.

and i will miss the rest of the guys. all of them really treated us girls very well. they even bought supper for us! edmund even bought lots and lots of medicinal sweets for me ( i think can last for the entire year... haha!)

i will always rmb this guy called zhi rong (the cute guy) who kept making fun of my voice by mimicking the way i speak and calling me old aunty.

thanks to yei xiang for helping me take over all the lectures i supposed to do. he looks like my kor! haha. thou i know he may never see this, but jus want to thank him!

i shant talk abt the rest or else the entry will be too long. haha. im now coughing really badly and for the past 3 days, i lost my voice. hopefully i can recover slightly by tml when i meet the muskies for kbox. how to sing like tat???? hahahah.

anyway, i lost more than 2 kgs from the camp and im as tan as my kor le! x)

i will miss everybody so so much and i will try as hard as possible to rmb everything tat has happened during the camp so tat i wont forget it always. (:

posted by pam @ 12:21 AM 0 comments

i have absolutely no idea why
but sometimes
i wish i could jus float away
like those little bubbles in the air
and i wish my problems would jus go POP
and disappear too.
:)

posted by pam @ 1:09 AM 0 comments

happiness is really short lived.

as some may know, my ah gong was admitted into hospital last afternoon. i really was very scared, anxious and shocked abt the sudden news. i didnt realise tat he was arldy tat sick. his condition has stabilised but he wont last long. im jus praying hard he won't suffer much. tears sprang to my eyes when i realised tat there was no more hope for him. it's really depressing to know tat we cant do anything to help him. i didnt wan to go to school today n initially thought of staying at the hospital. but my ah gong told me his sickness is of a small prob and told me to go to school. he has alrdy planned for his passing. i cant imagine me myself planning for my own funeral. i really admire my ah gong's courage. (:

im really afraid of death; afraid of growing old; afraid of suffering and pain.



now with all this happening, i not too sure if i shld go ahead with all my plans during the hols. my ma told me to go for the camp as usual. haiix. i still cant make up my mind. jus afraid sth may crop up during my stay there.


i will be strong! (:

posted by pam @ 12:56 AM 0 comments

kry! u abandon me! *cries*

haha. hope u had an absolute wonderful time yesterday! xin ku to the muskies le! x) when we were singing the bday song, i teared a little too cuz i felt the surprise was too much a success (and hilarious too!) got so much to say to u, but jus simply i hope u will remember our pact - our yue ding. (:


yesterday, i had the most fun time cuz we gave kry a bday surprise! now i cant wait for mine! wahahah. but honestly, give me a hug will do! =P these few days im always in a happy mood cuz small small little things make me really happy. like how kry, sha, mei n me went out on sat, how my parents treat me n my mei (my dear pa gave us our bday pressie le! =P) n how caring my mum is. and when my best senior! suddenly msged me after the stroke of midnight - showing tat he haven't forgotten me. (: i do not need big big events to make me happy, but a simple small act of love, care n appreciation will do.

the month of march will be even busier. here i am wasting my time effortlessly. haha. (i need to wait for an hour plus for my cca!) im so happy tat the hols is coming soon! tat means my da re zi yao lai le. yays! x) heez.

also, i will be working during the hols too! heez. working as a p5 student leaders' camp instructor. it will held for 3 consecutive days and the instructors get to stay at the pasir ris chalet. i assume there will be lots of hard work n fun time! (: but sadly, the pay is not as lucrative. so i will be so so busy for the coming days.

friday: mum's bday
sat: nus open hse
sun: briefing for the camp
mon - weds: camp
weds: interact games' day
thurs: kbox with muskies!
fri: lunch treat with my aunty!

haha. really packed schedule! but i will definitely make time for myself n my homework! can afford to slack during this period. ((: jus pls dun give too many homework....

posted by pam @ 2:40 PM 0 comments

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRY! xD

posted by pam @ 10:15 AM 0 comments